Hikari
by Kaelin P
Summary: ENDING SPOILER for those who haven't passed the game yet. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Hikari by Gaki**

**_Spoiler laden_**_ for those who haven't passed the game yet. Will have elements of slight shounen ai but that can be easily looked over as friendshipness. Riku angst because I adore the boy. Comments and suchness is welcomed with open arms. Flames? I'll bring out the mashimarou. The song is **Hikari** by **Utada Hikaru** or in English **Simple and Clean**._

Unruly brown pointing out in all directions, his hair never did listen to the brushings they would put it through. Large blue eyes taking up most of the space on a round innocent trusting face, he really did look comical if one looked at him long enough. But at that point in time, the face he was so familiar with looked anything but innocent. The look on his face was more defined as determined. Yes, that was it. 

He was determined. Ready to defeat the Heartless and to finally close the one door that would end it all. The one door that would bring peace to countless worlds. 

The door that would seal him forever. 

As he continued to look at that face, even while pulling against the door itself, he pondered if he ever was as determined as he was. So set in his ways that he would not be sidetracked by more compelling things. That he would not lose heart of what he wanted. 

He had failed them, he knew. He had failed the two people he'd promised to protect. He'd surrendered himself over to something he thought would help him, only to realize too late that he was being used. 

They were talking, he finally noticed. Not only that, they were looking behind him. Turning around, he found himself looking at a silhouette of a mouse holding up what seemed to be a key blade. 

"Don't worry, Sora! We'll close it." The mouse looked over its shoulder and smiled at them. 

Realizing what the mouse intended to do, he found himself smiling as well as he turned back to face his childhood friend. 

Friend. Someone who he had played with, laughed with, told jokes with and battled around with. 

Friend. Someone he cared about. 

Someone he would never be able to see again because he had given up his heart. 

Taking a long look into those big blue eyes, he smiled again as Sora looked at him expectedly. As if he was waiting for him to walk through the door and join him on the other side.

If only.

With the same smile on his face, he said the one thing he knew Sora could do that he had failed. 

"Take good care of her."

The look that crossed Sora's face was one of surprised. Then that quickly changed and he nodded at him. 

As the door slowly closed, he found himself unable to look away. He didn't want to look away. He wanted to remember that face. The face that would pout whenever he was teased or beated in a game. The face that would so easily smile and joke around with him. 

Wild brown hair and wide blue eyes. He will always remember this face. Will always remember the times they had together in Destiny Island. The innocent times before the Heartless changed everything. Changed them. 

Those wild brown locks and wide blue eyes will help him remember his heart. He will never forget him, that he vowed. 

Because if he did, then he really would lose his entire heart to the Heartless. And that wasn't something he was willing to give up without a fight.

A shadow loomed over him and he turned around slowly. A sudden realization crossed his mind as he stared up at the Heartless before him.

He hadn't said he was sorry.

**_No matter how well we`re doing,   
I don`t believe in us completely.   
But at those sorts of times,   
Because you're by my side,   
The light known as "you" finds me,   
In the middle of the night_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hikari by Gaki**

_This was only supposed to be a one-shot fic. This is what happens when I let my muses run wild and about. For those of you who passed the game and saw the **secret scene**, it'll probably make a bit more sense but not as much. I really don't know where I'm going with this, but this whole fic screams to be written in chapter form. And I have a weak will. =_=;_

_I also blame it on the music box version of **Beautiful Alone** of **Weiss Kreuz**. I **really** don't know where I'm going with this fic ^^;_

People say that your life flashes right before your eyes before you die. That every single memory you had ever made will suddenly turn into a vivid colored movie, scenes blurring into one another as memory after memory try to make you remember them all in a split second. He used to think that was comical. It wasn't possible for a person to see their entire life memory flash right before their very eyes a second they pass away. A person has many memories, it would take a whole other lifetime to remember all the memories they have locked away within their hearts. 

Hearts. It all comes back to that one simple word that meant so much to everyone. Yet, he no longer had a heart, did he? He'd given it away in order to save his friend. At least, that was what he had intended to do. He hadn't thought that giving himself up to the Darkness would lead them all into a world wind of obstacles and enemies. And what hurt the most was when he had to fight Sora. 

Not a play fight with wooden swords and laughter. But a real life or death fight. He could've killed the younger boy. He could've had the blood of his most trusted friend on his hands and it was all because he couldn't find another way to help Kairi. 

He was weak. He was weak where Sora was strong. The younger boy, though small in size and weak in strength, had a heart as big as his wide blue eyes. It was also because of Sora's big heart that made him jealous. 

He had made new friends so easily upon coming to the other worlds where he wandered about, lost and alone only to be picked up by a witch. A witch who used him for her own purposes until another power took him over. He wanted to be stronger. No. He _needed_ to be stronger. So that he could stand up against the Heartless and the Darkness in his heart. 

There was a time where everything was so simple. All they had to do was wake up and greet each other and the day would go fine. No, not fine. It would be great. Because they had each other. He remembered. He still remembered the time before the Heartless took over their small island. 

Sora's pout when losing the race. Thinking that he would actually kiss Kairi when he knew so long ago that the blue eyed boy had his heart set on her. The look on Sora's face when he told him about the fruit that would bind its eaters together forever. The silly little grin on the sketching of Sora made of himself, a picture of him giving that same fruit to Kairi. 

He remembered those times and the times before those. Before Kairi. Where there was only the two of them. Two young boys along with their friends, dueling each other every day to see who was the strongest only to laugh it all off when the day was over. Those where the times, the times when his heart was as big as Sora's. 

It all seem so long ago now as he drifted endlessly in the dark. He couldn't remember exactly what happened. One minute he was staring up at a Heartless and the next there was nothing but darkness. He didn't even know where the mouse was anymore. 

He could hear nothing. No giggling laughter. He could feel nothing. No sudden flush of joy, happiness or glee. He could see nothing. No big blue eyes shining brightly along with his own cool blues, cheeks flushed with laughter as the both of them fell back to gaze at the clouds above.

Nothing. There was a great nothing all around him... 

Until...

With a soft groan, he slowly raised himself up with his arms, a hand going to the back of his head to rub it as he tried to get the dizzy feeling to leave. There was something cold and wet beneath his fingers and knees. Pushing himself up so that he was sitting back, Riku finally opened his eyes slowly, vision blurring a bit before clearing fully. 

His eyes widen as he looked around his knew surroundings; the only thought in his head was... 

_Where in the heck am I?_

**_No matter what the time   
I`m just alone   
Destiny forgotten   
Even though I kept going   
Inside of the sudden light   
I awaken In the middle of the night_**


End file.
